The Futility of Controlling Uncertainty
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Yurui’s Summary
This is one of my best articles. I highly recommend the full read!
Career Planning w/ Jack Rode
Thinking about high school subjects means thinking about university degrees, which means thinking about careers, and thinking about what sort of life you want to lead. Too much thinking!
Planning every second of your life out is futile; experiences shape ideologies, both of which are constantly changing.
Try as many things out as you can, and see what you enjoy. Throw shit at the wall, see what sticks.
Relax! Trust your gut, and do what you feel is right in the moment. Your niche will find you; your worldview is the culmination of all your experiences.
The Certainty in Uncertainty
I’m a huge over-planner. Neurotic, at times. I tried to dictate a career path for myself but ended up realising that it was futile to do so. Humans are always changing. Don't align yourself with a 'narrative'; you will only restrict yourself.
An unfathomable number of decisions were made that resulted in my current existence; we live in one of trillions and trillions of permutations of the world.
The world owes us nothing, and I find so much happiness in gratitude for what I have in my life.
Most people don't have their shit together. That's okay! There are so many small decisions that can alter the paths of our lives that we can't control. I don't know if the world is deterministic or not, but there's so much that we can't control.
Given that we will all die one day and that we can’t control all the variables that constitute our lives, is it better to panic and worry about uncertainty, or enjoy the moment and make the best decisions we can in the moment?
Sometimes bad things happen to you. They happen to protect you; everything happens for a reason. Maybe the world has decided to put you under hardship so you can grow as a person?
Ephemerality brings purpose. The brevity of life provides the motivation to become the best version of ourselves and embrace the world with curiosity and innocence.
Since you can’t control your life, you should stop trying. All you can do is try to control your mindset and your actions; you really can't control anything else in life! Some things aren't meant to last; they come and go.
If you can’t control it, don’t worry. If you can control it, do your absolute best, and don’t worry!
Relax. Everything will be okay.
Career Planning w/ Jack Rode
(article from April 8th, 2023)
As a fresh 15 year-old kid trying to figure out which subjects I should take in Year 11 and 12, I took it upon myself to decide upon what sort of degree I wanted to do in university. And to decide on a degree, I had to consider the career I was interested in going into after graduation, because after all, that’s why you go to university… right? (I later realised that it was not - that might be another good blog idea for later).
Considering the career I wanted to go into meant that I had to think about the type of life I wanted to live, which is, frankly, a ridiculous question to be asking teenagers with practically zero life experience. One of the best pieces of advice that Jack Rode, Chief of Staff, CEO at Mr Yum gave me in relation to career planning and decision making in general was that you should trust your gut and do what you feel is right in the moment.
I’ve realised that I shouldn’t plan out every year of my life. No doubt, my thought process a few months ago was something along the lines of “I will study economics in high school to get into university to study finance, to go into management consulting (which is degree-agnostic, mind you), and then I will exit to become an entrepreneur at my own tech startup named “Companie”, which I will found when the day after my 25th birthday and hire exactly seven employees after 6 months, 24 days, 2 hours and 13 minutes after writing the first line of code.”
Making decisions for every second of your life is absolutely useless. You won’t be living your own life - you’ll be living the life that your 16 year-old self planned out for you or (if you decide to compare yourself to others) the life that someone else is living.
I’m a firm believer that ultimately, your own unique experiences shape your personal philosophy and outlook on life - sometimes reading a particular book, chatting to a unique person or interning at a particular company will drastically alter what you feel is the most appropriate decision in the moment.
The only way to discover what you’re truly interested in is by giving your best shot to as many things as possible and having as many experiences as possible. Personally, this has really tied in with radical open-mindedness in sending cold messages to people I found particularly unique to have a chat about their experiences, and trying to get a taste of as many areas of life as possible, inside and outside of school.
All in all, do what your gut tells you to do, and at the end of the day, as long as you’re learning along the way, your niche will find you. Of course, you have to take a break sometimes and take into consideration what sort of person you want to become in the future, and what direction your life is heading in. But take extreme caution when trying to plan for the future too much - make sure to have a healthy balance of living in the present and thinking about the future.
Yurui
The Certainty in Uncertainty
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.” - Seneca
A few years ago, I was trying to work out what subjects to study in high school, what degree and university to attend, and what career to pursue. And I guess, in an attempt to find certainty within that uncertainty and plan things out, I started talking to people about their careers. I told my parents that I wanted to be working in ‘X’ career; something that ranged from becoming a train driver, Chemistry professor, medical doctor, software engineer, investment banker, quantitative trader, management consultant, software engineer (again), venture capitalist, and entrepreneur.
There’s a lot of danger with aligning yourself to a ‘narrative’; stating that you are a thing. A noun. For example, that you are either ‘technical’ or ‘non-technical’. I used to always think that I was a hardcore STEM nerd who only enjoyed 4U Maths and the natural sciences, but now I don’t even want to study a science in high school, unable to decide between a STEM or a Humanities discipline for university. (and why not both lol)
The danger lies in the fact that you don’t know if you’ll enjoy something until you actually experience it; by self-categorising, you only limit yourself! As young adults starting our careers, we must come to the realisation that we will not be in one or two careers our whole lives; humans are too dynamic for that. An exception may be clinical medicine (in which specialised knowledge must be gained in order to reach success), but there are plenty of doctors with side-hustles, not to mention non-clinical positions.
After all that soul-searching, I’ve learnt that experiences shape our ideologies; we cannot change the fact that humans are always changing. It is useless to attempt to control anything in the world out of your control (it seems obvious, by definition, but we worry regardless). Uncertainty is part of the human condition.
The only constant in life is change.
Absurdity
Hell, the chances of our existence at this very moment are so slim that I can’t even express it with numbers. Even before my birth, an unfathomable number of decisions were made that resulted in my current existence. Stars had to collide, dinosaurs went extinct, homo sapiens had to evolve, thousands of generations worth of humans had to live, breed, and die, my dad had to meet my mum, all so that I could be alive today. Despite all the uncertainty with in the decisions that were made throughout time, it has all resulted into you being here with me right now, reading this very article. Everything you have done in your life has led to your reading of my writing, and everything I have done in my existence has led to me writing up this article. Wouldn’t have it any other way!
Imagine the life and pathway of one human (one in trillions and trillions possible), but magnified to all eight billion people that are alive currently on this tiny blue ball we call home. The thought of this scale is absolutely insane: humans are mentally unable to comprehend it (check out this dope article “On Caring”). There are so many variables that we can’t control in our own life, let alone other people’s lives.
Whenever I think or journal about the improbability of my existence, I always seem to find a huge smile on my face. Even right now, writing this blog article, I’m just thinking: we’re alive, man! How lucky am I to be alive right now, healthy, under a roof, with a full belly, warm clothes, a family who loves me, the opportunity to receive an education, able to listen to awesome music, express myself creatively, work on my passions, improve myself, both physically and mentally, and so much more. I’m utterly grateful for everything and everyone that’s been a part of life.
The reality is that the world owes you and I absolutely nothing. When we take the time to consider the opportunity we have, we can better understand the privileges we are afforded. This is not to invalidate your anxieties or emotions you might feel with your current circumstances, which should not just be brushed off, but instead, when we take a step back and look at our existence objectively and rationally, it almost seems silly to be unhappy. Every small thing in the universe has happened in order for me to be where I am at the moment. I’m grateful for what life has given me, and I’m happy that I made all the decisions I’ve made in the past. See Regret.
For example, you might say that one aspect of your personality is boring, bland, and commonplace. Well, it might be, but the multiple of all your other characteristics form your identity and personality, which despite there being so many billions of people in the world, is unique, and that is absolutely beautiful. You are beautiful.
“We are all just miracles in plain sight.”
So what do we do?
Bear with me for this example. I’d like to think of life as a Minecraft Skyblock world, or perhaps, as a floating island, for those of us unfamiliar with the world of video games. All humans exist on our own, individual boats, flowing down a stream on this island, at a constant speed, represented by time in the physical world. As we inevitably come to crossroads, we must choose a path for ourselves; each day is comprised of thousands of decisions that must be made. The trajectory and current positioning of our lives is one of trillions and trillions and trillions of the permutations that exist from the billions and billions and billions of decisions that have been made throughout time.
However many decisions we might make as people, the end of the stream is the same for everyone. One day, you will fall off the island, into the void of death. Knowing this, should we just sit back and admire the view, or should we freak out, hopelessly rock the boat, spend every minute fortifying it in vain, denying the void’s existence, and panic at every crossroad? If we choose the latter, we are trying to control uncertainty, which is absolutely futile. There are just too many decisions and variables cannot be controlled in your own world, let alone all in other people’s worlds that our actions are also linked to.
Determinism?
I don’t have my shit together. The vast majority of us don’t, and that’s perfectly healthy. To be completely honest, my past month has been a bitch. That’s okay. When we take a step back, probabilistically, the world shouldn’t even exist. Now, I’m not here to give a lecture on whether the world is deterministic or not, but when I look back on what’s happened in life, I think of how bizarre its nature truly is, despite hardship, and I feel so lucky to be alive.
Jokes, I’ll give my opinion on determinism. I’m agnostic, but I feel like there has to be some supernatural force out there that controls some aspects of the world. What are the chances of us being in this very one of the trillions of possible realities right now? Even existing? It feels like none of the decisions that had to be made in order for me to live in the current moment were random. Something has to be controlling this; something has to be teaching me a lesson, determining how the world operates every day. A simulation, even. This world is just so beautiful and complex for it to have all been random. The uncertainty in life is testament to that; one small decision years ago would completely alter what my life looks like now. See Everything, Everywhere, All At Once, perhaps my favourite movie of all time.
We’ll never know if the world is deterministic. Our existence is absurd, the world shouldn’t even exist, and that’s beautiful. All we can control is our own mindset and actions. We are lucky to even be alive.
The burnt toast theory:
If you burn your toast in the morning, the time you spend making another toast may have saved you from a car accident; or make you late to a meeting but you meet someone on the way that becomes special in your life.
A reminder that the universe protects you.
It’s important to realise that everything in life happens for a reason. There is some greater good, and everything that happens, good or bad, happens for a reason. Things that might seem objectively bad, like burning toast, is part of a higher purpose teaching you something.
The Illusion of Control and the Beauty of Uncertainty
We cannot control all the uncertainty, for it is part of the human condition. In fact, I think that being aware of life’s uncertainty is what makes it absolutely beautiful. In a seemingly trivial anecdote, I remember journaling after getting off a bus one day; I said ‘thank you very much’ to the driver, and have no idea what he said in response. However, it is in uncertainty in which I take solace, with the thought that his response was kind-hearted, even though I didn’t know what he said.
If we knew about every little thing life was going to throw our way, that would ruin all the fun; we’d know about every little surprise waiting around the corner. Life would be miserable, melancholy, devoid of purpose, and above all, unsurprising. Uncertainty makes life beautiful.
Spoiler alert: every human will die when all is said and done. All people, the righteous and the wicked, the good and the bad. We will all join the dead. Imagine just wallowing in misery due to the realisation that life is ‘meaningless’.
No. Humans have the power to prevail despite our mortality. The greatest tragedy of the human condition is not that we are mortal, but rather our tendency to live as though we are immortal, that is to say, to live a life without realising your full potential and reaching personal fulfilment and satisfaction. I think that the knowledge of my death is some of the greatest motivation that I have; knowing that it will all be over one day, and that these moments are all I have before it’s too late. Ephemerality brings purpose.
Our lifespans are blinks in the history of time. We will be forgotten. The earth’s been here long before us and will be long after. No one remembers people from long ago and all the people yet to come will too be forgotten by those who come after them.
Instead of despairing due to the lack of control in our lives, all we can do is fully embrace and accept uncertainty. In the current moment, be the best version of yourself, and let the tides of the unknown do the rest. After all, as humans, what more can we do, if not our best?
I guess that when we do this, we embrace our inner child: someone absolutely powerless with no control over how the world turns out, but despite this, takes every moment as it is with innocence and curiosity. No ulterior motives, no worrying about the past or the future. Just this present moment. When we see children, we smile because we see their worry-free lives, and that in turn is transferred to us. Our inner child marvels at everything in the world and lives in freedom.
I used to say that if I could ask one question to my future self, it would be this: ‘Am I happy at the end of it all, and will everything be okay?’ I asked this question, because if I got the answer, I’d just keep my head down and work towards my goals, without a worry for the uncertainty of the future. Well, I guess that in the imminent future, we unfortunately have no means to get a real answer. In fact, I think that you set the answer for yourself.
The Struggle
There is no use struggling against the uncertainty of the future. It is truly futile - all you can try to control is your mindset and your actions. When we try our best and let the world do its thing, we open the door to serendipity. We find success in common hours by aligning ourselves to personal principles, letting go of preconceived desire for success, perfection, and certainty in life. We embrace and accept uncertainty.
In life, things really come and go. Some people aren’t meant to walk the same path as you, and that’s okay. Some things aren’t meant to last with you, and that’s okay. Some experiences are temporary, and that’s okay. Life is temporary, and that is okay. All you have permanently is yourself, your own mind, and your body, and that is in a relative sense (because nothing lasts forever). I could go on about Rene Descartes’ mind-body distinction, but that’s a story for another time; there’s another interesting discussion about whether or not humans have free will (here!). Anyways, some other things that you’ll have for a long time are your family members, closest friends, and a romantic partner. Hold them close if you truly care about them.
Nothing on this earth is worth worrying about such that you lose your inner peace. The worst thing to a lot of people objectively is losing everything they have in their lives, and we will, through death. If you can come to terms with this, then everything else is tiny in relative importance. Protect your peace, or drive yourself insane in the process. When I asked my mum if she feared death a while ago, she said that there’s no reason to. Why worry over something I can’t control?
Since you can’t control your life, you should stop trying. We control nothing in this world but our own thoughts, actions, and mindset in the current moment. Sometimes we can’t even control that (see Neuroscience of Free Will and my article)! You can’t control the weather, can’t control other people, can’t control if your heart stops. Everything is truly for the world to control.
If you can’t control it, don’t worry. If you can control it, do your absolute best, and don’t worry!
The only certainty you will get is that life is uncertain. Embrace uncertainty. Acknowledge it, and accept it. The past is dead, and the future does not exist. Well, not yet.
Live life to the fullest, every single day. Love yourself, always. Everything will be okay.
WE’RE ALIVE!
Thank you for spending some of the precious moments of your life with me, and I hope you have an awesome day. Reach out if you think you’d like to chat about any of the ideas I’ve written about today.
Yurui
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. - The Serenity Prayer
PS: Not going to lie, I’m right next to Max Marchione right now and he just closed off an deal with a VC fund. We’re at WeWork now and this was not planned. Serendipity; going into the city for an afternoon of work with one of your interns, then bump heads with an investor and sign a contract.
