Success is Self-Defined
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Yurui’s Summary
It’s hard to do meaningful work without a sense of purpose - this led me to ask myself what success was.
We shouldn’t base all our happiness on material possessions, and everyone’s version of success is inherently subjective.
You have the power to define what your success is, and then strive toward it.
We should never envy someone else’s success, because we don’t know what they did to get there.
Someone else’s success is not the same as your success. Success is something that you define for yourself.
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I’ve been thinking about success quite a lot recently. Whether it was throughout or after high school, I found myself questioning the purpose of all my endeavours. Why was I doing any of this work at all?
That might just be a personal thing, though. I find it quite hard to do meaningful work without a sense of purpose. Yes, slightly tautological, but meaningful work means that there is inherently meaning to the work.
So what is success?
The cop out answer is that in the professional world, it is a six figure salary, ownership of luxury vehicles, or some other material possession. My opinion is that it’s never been wrong to want these things, and it would be remiss of me not to acknowledge their value.
Instead, I think we shouldn’t base our happiness solely on said material metrics. For many, we tell ourselves that we’ll be happy with our success and relax when we get into a good selective high school, or ace our final year exams, or when we get into the university degree we’ve desired for so long, or when we’ve landed that internship or graduate role, or when we’ve bought that first car, or when we’ve bought our first home, and so on, and so forth.
My point is that everyone’s success is different, and that there is no objective definition of a person’s success. Success is inherently subjective as different people have different interpretations of what their own success should even look like.
I think that we as individuals define our level of success to ourselves.
When I was a kid, I saw my tennis coach and I thought he was living an awesome life. He was the school captain, had a very nice ATAR in the high 90s, and had an early entry law school offer. I looked up to him quite a bit and thought (and still think) that he was quite a successful guy. However, I don’t think that I’d want to live his life. Everyone is running their own race, and who are we to judge how much someone has reached their own version of success?
When running a marathon, would you rather a glass of champagne or a bottle of water?
I think that fulfilment is immeasurable and inherently subjective. We can’t compare ourselves to each other, instead, only with ourselves. In the real world there is no comparison of ATARs, and the closest thing (salary) doesn't even matter! Because different people work different hours and do different jobs to get that salary - and we all know that money doesn't buy happiness. We make money to allow for freedom and fulfilment, so why don't we just go straight into fulfilment in the first place?
I guess the point of this message is that:
1) We should never envy someone else’s success, because we don’t know what they did to get there
2) Someone else’s success is not the same as your success. Success is something that you define for yourself.
Personally, though I do intend to pursue material possessions for the sake of the happiness that can be derived from them, I will endeavour to not base my self-worth, nor my happiness on them.
“There is nothing lonelier or emptier than if you are someone who has given up everything in your life for success. Relationships, love, cuddles, travels - if you give that all up for something that you think will amount to your worth, you'll be miserable. It's just a number, a position. Not your whole life.”
You choose what you become, and there’s a beauty in that. We are each living our own lives, travelling in our own lanes. Make sure that you stay in your self-marked lane, because otherwise, you might be running someone else’s race.
Yurui
“We are the music-makers and we are the dreamers of dreams… for each age is a dream that is dying or one that is coming to birth."
“I think, therefore I am.” - Rene Descartes
“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” - J.K. Rowling
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